What do you mean to someone?
People take a lot of things in life for granted, always have done and always will. We don’t ever really ponder on our liberties until we need them in our lives, yet we have a lot more control than we think, so stop being idle.
You do not owe anything to anyone, you can be courteous, you can respect the fact that someone wants to be friends with them, but you do not OWE them that friendship and that attention. People can have something, and then they can have nothing; things come and go like the wind.
People don’t care.
People don’t care. Friends and partners do, and if you think they’re one of those two things then you’re going to need to make them prove it. But it’s suffocating, it’s not nice to know that someone that you idolize in the beginning isn’t good for you, to them you are not someone that deserves respect, and that’s only bad because it doesn’t change. Some friends and partners need to become people if they aren’t giving you that.
People don’t change.
People don’t change. Nor do partners. You cannot change someone else, it takes something within them to do that, so don’t hold yourself accountable for somebody else’s ignorance. You can tell them what’s going on, you can tell them how you feel, but THEY have to act to make a difference. Whether that be an apology, taking accountability or simply talking with you about it; It still means that they have to do something about it, not you. Don’t subjugate yourself to someone else’s suffering as it won’t get either of you anywhere, what gets you somewhere is using your space.
Friends change, as mentioned earlier, things come and go. But bad friends can still be bad friends. No matter the timescale of how long you’ve known them and how much they’ve done “for you”, you shouldn’t need to put up with their issues for no benefit at all if they never saw your WORTH in the first place.
Maybe your worth to somebody changes? One day they realise what they are missing and come back to you. THAT shows change and that shows character. You shouldn’t hold it against them as it’s just the course of life, YOU CHANGE. You can feel bitter about it (which is normal), but it doesn’t change the fact that they don’t want to be your friend and they might not be interested, they might not be the same person they were before but worse! They might not even want to initiate contact other than being friends again.
“break”
living your life without a person is something easier said than done, sometimes we get so caught up in a person that a break is needed. In that break we take space from one and other and we consolidate with ourselves.
- are you happier?
- less emotional?
- are you calmer?
- are you less stressed from pondering over someone else’s worries?
- do you feel fulfilled?
if the answer is yes to any of these then why wait around? End the friendship/relationship and move on, it’s not healthy and it’s not viable for either of you to continue.
you will genuinely know when you like somebody when you miss THEM, deeply. Not for what they look like, not for how they talk and act, it’s not the accompaniment you may find yourself yearning for, not the fact that you’re so obsessed with someone else that you forget about your own insecurity and your own issues by making yourself preoccupied, you miss THEM, the person that you became so accustomed to that you can’t live without them.
“time”
Time is subjective to who you ask. To a lot of us it’s the day moving, to some it’s the countdown until we can’t function as people anymore, to some it’s waiting for something to be different to what it was before. But any of these can be relevant to what I’m about to say.
People don’t take enough time to think about what is and isn’t good for them and the people they surround themselves with, they don’t give themself time to process their own feelings, sometimes ignorance is bliss, but ignorance doesn’t change a person for their shortcomings, it only makes them worse to be with.
“worthy”
too many people think that they need to prove their worth to somebody; you don’t. Putting yourself on a silver platter for somebody’s approval. Regardless of what appetizers are on that plate, their ulterior motive is still there and they have already decided that they do not care, don’t look like a sucker trying to make yourself worth something to someone, because if they can’t see it; tough luck they never will. Realize what’s good for you and move the fuck on.
“tail between your legs”
There’s nothing that stops you from making changes to yourself, but you shouldn’t procrastinate or be anxious to make them. If you’re going to change, do it for yourself, not for someone fictional or real.
There will come a time where you feel like you might have to make the first move after that break/space, I would say avoid this until you notice something about yourself feel different, curing yourself, feeling better. Unless you’re in a better position, never make the first move, especially if you can tell the person is the same as they were before.
I know that when you do it’ll be strange, you’ll be timid, afraid of rejection and hoping that you aren’t pushed away, and when you are pushed away; know it’s probably for the right reason.
Do your own thing, be your own person. You know you’re better than this.